How do I stay knowing you don’t love me the way I love you.
How do I stay after all the hurtful things you did and said.
How can I stay when we are perfect and everything is fine, we are learning and growing. And the, just.like.that. The first moment of imperfection, the first glimpse of effort being had… you find every excuse to not be here.
You tell me we’re breaking up.
You tell me I deserve better.
You say you’re tired of hurting me.
I get it.
But 20 hours ago you’re apologizing. Telling me we’re going to be okay.
Being the support system I need.
Me, always having your back.
You, picking out a house for us to move into.
20 hours ago, things aren’t great but you’re trying to make it better.
Present time, it would take “too much” effort for what I’m asking for, which, let’s be honest, isn’t a lot.
So are you lazy? Do you not care? Am I worth it? Do you not get it? Meaning, everything. Do you love me but just not enough to let go of your selfish and prideful ways? You’re inconsistent and I don’t know why, after destroying me, you decide to say. So. Which is it. What are you. Who are you.
And what the fuck am I doing here.