I’m a smart girl. I’m an averagely smart girl. I know a few things about life but not everything by any means. But, because I’m a smart girl, I know that when I have a bad day it happens for a reason. I know that when I think it’s the worst it will ever be, I know… Know all too well, that I’ve been through worse. I know that when I feel my larynx close up and the pressure hits my tear ducts, I know that this breakdown I’m about to drown in will pass and that’s life and “you’ll feel better one day,” “you’re so strong and you’re not a mess,” “without the bad times how will you ever experience the good.” All of that, I know too well because I’m a smart girl. Only an idiot will have a breakdown and feel like there’s no hope. What’s life without hope? I know better than that, I’m not an idiot. I’m sad, sure. I’m depressed, sure. But it’s just how I am, and I’m dealing, okay? The best way I know how. So, save your breath. Because I know things about life; I’ve been living it with eyes wide shut so I know. But that doesn’t mean that I’m not allowed to feel the bad and the pain and the almost suffocating, buckling of the knees, cry in command, feeling. I can feel that every day if I wanted and that doesn’t mean I don’t know the other side of the story. I’m a dark and depressed and twisted girl but I’m still me. And I’m still smart. And I still know things about life that I hope you’ll never have to see, and I know that I’ve been through worse and I know that life goes on. But I can be dark and twisted and half alive and still be a smart girl. 

Xo,

#thets

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